Sunday, January 17, 2010

meet dina.



this is my friend, dina. there is so much about her that i admire. her contagious dina laugh, her passion for her crazy science experiments with her students, her full reliance on God despite some of the junk life's put on her plate, her love for music, and her ability to always find a way to fit in a blondie after eating a meal at ruby tuesdays. but there's something more about her that makes our friendship so much more meaningful; she has helped me come back to my senses and restore my relationship with Jesus.

the first time i met dina was our first day of school in 2008. i started out as a substitute teacher and knew nothing about the school. i was given a packet of papers to pass out to students and a bundle of emergency contact cards. they gave me a piece of paper that had a room number to go to. i wasn't informed of the grade or subject. i was completely lost, but had to put on this front that i knew exactly what was going on. in reality, i had absolutely no idea. i got to my room, and saw some students and parents waiting outside my classroom. i greeted them and welcomed them into "my" bare classroom. i stepped outside and waited for other students to show up. then i saw this woman pop out of the classroom next door. it was dina. she introduced herself. i told her that i was just a substitute and wasn't too sure what was going on. "well, whatever you need, let me know," was her response. so, i took her up on her offer and whenever i had a question, (which happened quite a lot that day) i went to her. it didn't matter to her how many times i went to her. she seemed so okay with it. and there were times she wasn't able to answer my questions, but i still felt that sense of assurance that everything was going to work out.

she invited me to eat lunch with her that day. there was that sense of awkwardness. eating lunch with someone i really didn't know. i scanned her classroom a few times. looking at the same things for five minutes wasn't really doing much for me. so, to kill the silence we would ask each other basic background questions.

as the first week of school went on, we learned more and more about each other. then monday of the second week came around. dina's teaching assignment had been changed, and she had to move to a different classroom. she packed up her classroom, and moved down a different wing. we still managed to eat lunch together and continue to have our thirty-minute conversations. during these times together, i learned dina believed in Jesus. she had made references about how if we want to soar like the eagles, we have to stop hanging out with the turkeys. she would tell me that He had a plan and even though we didn't know what it was, it was all going to be okay because that's what Jesus wanted. and despite the junk that was put on her plate, she was still fully dependent on God.

before meeting dina, i wasn't on the path of righteousness. i had abandoned my relationship with Jesus for stupid and foolish things. i was completely brainwashed by a certain individual who told me that church was just a money-hungry organization. church was a place where hypocrites gathered to worship God and then leave and continue on with their unrighteous ways. sadly, i fell for it and believed it all. i stopped attending church. i closed all forms of communication with Christian friends because i was completely ashamed of who i had become. i wasn't happy with myself, and i didn't want my friends to see someone i didn't even like.

if you know me, you know me as the person who grew up in a church, going at least three times a week, surrounded by amazing Christian friends. in college, i was a youth leader and a small group leader. people came to me for spiritual advice.

foolishly, i gave this all up because of someone else. throughout my whole life, i was taught that i should not be in a relationship where the two were not evenly yoked. i heard it from pc, my youth leaders, the pastors of summit church, and even pastor travis. they would warn us of the dangers of being in a relationship like this because those who are not followers of Jesus are not going to change for the better. if anything, we would change for the worst. instead of listening to these wise people, i chose to do what i wanted to do. i told myself that i wasn't going to change. i had a strong relationship with God, and nothing was going to come in between that. i was so completely wrong. i fell flat on my face.

when dina would bring up Jesus, i would try to play it off like i agreed with her. in reality, i didn't want anything to do with Him. and i was certain He didn't want anything to do with me. she invited me to several church activities, but i always found an excuse to not go.

a few months into the year, there were major budget cuts in our county, and the students i was teaching had to be dispersed into other classes, and i became a regular substitute teacher; i had a different schedule every day. i wasn't able to eat lunch with dina as much as before, but i did every once in a while. the lunches eventually stopped because i had taken over a full-time position, and whenever we saw each other, it was a simple, "hi. how are you doing?" sort of thing.

the school year ended, and dina and i caught up on a few things in our lives at our end of the school year party. we said that we would keep in touch over the summer, and she even invited me to go with her to a church luau she had at her church. of course, that didn't happen.

the summer passed, and the new school year had already begun. my cousin, which was one of dina's former students, told me that dina wanted to see me and catch up. when my cousin told me that dina was excited about seeing me, i thought, "why does she want to see me? i wasn't even a good friend to her." but sure enough, i walked inside her classroom and she greeted me with a huge smile and a hug.

dina is such a compassionate and beautiful person. despite the fact that i was a bit of a crappy friend, she wanted to know what was going on in my life; and she wanted to keep me updated with hers. i really had no idea why.

once again, dina had invited me to a church activity--a girlfriends conference held at trinity church in miami. she was really excited about it, and she really wanted me to go with her. she still had no idea that i wasn't on the path of righteousness. she had no idea that i knew Jesus wanted nothing to do with me. but there was something inside of me telling me that i HAD to go. that i NEEDED this. so that weekend, i decided to go back to church.

during the praise and worship service, we sang phil wickham's song, cannons. it's a beautiful song, and some of the lyrics are, "i am so unworthy, but still You love me." that spoke directly to me. this weight was lifted off my heart, and i felt so free. i had no control of the tears streaming down my face. Jesus had wanted me this whole time and i was just too lazy and stubborn to realize it.

the following week, dina brought up the conference again and reminded me about how excited she was about it. i decided that i wanted to be a part of this. i NEEDED to be a part of this. the girlfriends conference was absolutely amazing. it was full of strong women who loved Jesus with everything they had. women who loved sharing the gospel and the good news about our majestic King. one of the songs we sang was hillsong's, mighty to save. "Savior, He can move the mountains. my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save." i was that mountain. Jesus moved me from a place that was disgusting and unpleasing, and He placed me where things are beautiful and lovely.

i thank Jesus every day for placing dina at our school, even though she wasn't too pleased with the decision made by the administration. but we both have a pretty good understanding of why she was placed there. i thank Jesus every day that dina was so persistent with inviting me to church and always wanting to pursue a friendship with me, even though i was stubborn at times. i thank Jesus every day for someone who has shown me that His love never fails, despite some of the garbage we go through. i thank Jesus every day for dina.

1 comment:

  1. I also thank the Lord for you Jasmine. Ditto to everything you wrote. My favorite picture is the black and white one, the 2nd one, where I'm choking you :P

    God has a reason and timing with things, there is no coicidence that we met. Obey God, leave the consequences to Him...

    Don't ever forget, why settle for catfish, when we can have mahi mahi.

    ~D

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